hate
People grow up with certain values. They’re told by their parents and their society that these values are what is right, and that making the right decisions is what leads to happiness. Many people were told growing up, implicitly or explicitly, that marrying someone of the opposite gender, having a career, a few kids, and living a somewhat exciting but ultimately subdued life is the key to happiness, the proper way to live.
But as they get older, they find out about people who don’t subscribe to this mold. They find out about “others”, “others” who may be gay, or choose not to have children, or don’t have career aspirations. And maybe, these “others” are happy when they are not. And the very existence of “the happy other” strikes at the foundational belief that living “the right way” leads to happiness. Maybe they do want children, but meeting someone who is happy without children still causes them to question whether they made the right choice. Maybe they could have been happy following some other path.
But changing your foundational beliefs is hard. Thinking through why you value what you do is hard. And so, the easier way out is to hate. To think of yourself as morally superior and assume you’ll be validated eventually, either in the long term or maybe even the afterlife. If you think their way of life is unnatural, then their happiness must just be a facade, or temporary, or coming at a cost that is hurting them subtly.
While this somewhat explains homophobia, or anti-anti-natalism, or classism, I think it applies to more “legitimate” forms of hatred as well. If you meet someone who is completely selfish and hurts others for their own game, wouldn’t that strike at one of the basic things kids are taught all the time: To be kind to others? Wouldn’t the most straightforward reaction be to hate them, feel morally superior to them, and assume that your worldview will be validated eventually?
Hate is an easy emotion that allows us to maintain our sanity, to simplify the complexities of the world. It’s up to you whether it’s worth it.
