fragility
A businessman has a great job, a loving wife, and well behaved kids. It’s all a lie though, his wife secretly hates him, his kids act out when he’s away, and he only has the job due to the owner’s nepotism.
Is his life good? I imagine most would say no, because this is a very fragile way to live. The moment the illusion is nudged, it all comes tumbling down.
People cling to identities for their happiness. “I’m part of this religion”, “I listen to this music”, “I wear this kind of fashion”, but if your happiness comes mostly from that identity, it’s fragile because deep down you know that you aren’t really good if you follow a certain religion, you aren’t really cultured if you listen to a certain kind of music, and you aren’t really cool if you follow a certain brand of fashion. All it takes is some pressure against your identity, things as simple as “your music sounds stupid” to begin to crush you. Furthermore, knowing deep down that you may not actually be who you think you are is a feeling that eats away at you.
On a more abstract level, people look for external validation for happiness. “People think I’m funny”, “People think I’m smart”, “People think I’m cool”, but external validation is fragile too, because it constantly needs to be fed.
I think the key to becoming happy is finding sources of happiness that avoid fragility, e.g. eudaimonia
